I have reached the PINNACLE of MY LIFE – I am Michael Jordan…
and there is NO reason to STRIVE FOR MORE! or so I was told by a co-worker.
“You are the Michael Jordan of cutting out Pictures/objects and taping them to Garbage. You have reached the Pinnacle of your life and there is no reason to strive for more.” – Steve Narow, present co-worker
see….it all started way back in the other office…which I am still hazy on that aspect of the story. But Steve and another co-worker Peter started this fake Talk Show to entertain themselves during dull moments…. the moment in time I found out about this faux Talk Show was a few weeks ago when Carolyn had a cut out of a soccer player propped up on her desk and I was like what is that?? She said well Steve and Peter asked me to book a guest for their show – The New Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan – I said huh???? Carolyn said, well they have this fake talk show and Dan usually books their guests but he is out on Tour with his Band for a few weeks, so they needed a stand in booker for their show and they asked me. Michele and I decided that Carolyn had officially gone nuts and we decided not to indulge this madness. But Carolyn kept on booking guests for their show…(if I can I will try to get a picture of these guests and post it with the bulletin).
Anyways…leading up to the PINNACLE of my life….Carolyn was having a hard time finding a guest the other day and I pointed out a picture of Johnny Depp in an article about the new Pirates movie – he is in costume in this great chair with pointy things sticking out and skulls… (supposedly Steve and Peter like guests that Come with their own chair). She said well if you can cut it out I will take it. So I whipped out my scissors and demonstrated what are now called “my madd cuttin skillz.” Johnny Depp turned out to be Reversible because he is also on the back of the chair picture…which was an extra added bonus to Steve and Peter. They were very impressed with my “SKILLZ” and I told them only on special occassion would I pull them out – emergency purposes.
Well yesterday – emergency purposes arose – Carolyn had to leave early and they wanted Paulie’s Hair (just his hair) from Sopranos booked for the show. So I used my “SKILLZ” and cut his hair out. Now see they like their guests to be on some sort of stand…so I had to find a stand for the Hair. And I found a paper clip and rigged up a stand. Which you can pick the hair up and put it on other guests that are sitting over at Peter and Steve’s desks – ingenious I must say.
So this morning – Steve so politely kicks the back of my chair and tells Me the above quote. Therefore, I have done it I have mastered the unmastered – I am done…peace out.
For Reference: The New Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan – Guest List
Tuesday 6/20/2006- Keira Knightly
Wednesday 6/21/2006 – Eve
Thursday 6/22/2006 -Tom Petty
Friday 6/23/2006 – Gumby
Monday 6/26/2006 – Kate Hudson
Tuesday 6/27/2006 – Reversable Johnny Depp
Wednesday 6/28/2006 – ??
Thursday 6/29/2006 – Paulie Walnuts Hair
Tuesday 6/13/2006 – Jeremy Piven
Wednesday 6/14/2006 – Paul McCartney Marker
Thursday 6/15/2006 – Kirsten Dunst
Friday 6/16/2006- Ronaldinho
Monday 6/19/2006 – Jodie Foster Starbucks Cup, The Head of the Goddamn Mayor (Bloomberg)
Tuesday 6/20/2006 – TBA
Steve narow wrote:
Re: FW: Re: The New Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan – Guest List
Thanks. And we were all quite impressed with your skilz here in the cube. Also I will make sure you are on the guest mailing list in the future.
On 6/27/06, Karin Page wrote:
I missed you on my first email….about my MADD CUTTIN SKILLLZZZZ….didnt want you to feel left out.
I witnessed those MAD Cutting Skilz and must agree… they are MAD! 🙂
Subject: Re: The New Cactus and Reed Show with Lindsay Lohan – Guest List Peter wrote:
This is a tough business, kid. You’ve gotta toot your own horn, ’cause nobody’s gonna do it for you.
On 6/27/06, Karin Page wrote:
I heard a rumor that whoever cut out the Reversible Johnny Depp has MAD CUTTING SKILLS! Thank you, thank you! Glad I could top your list of Stars. Never will I agent out my skills again!
Driven from Within
By Michael Jordan
Release date: By 24 October, 2005