…time to fly back to NYC. (written on the plane on the way back to NYC)
Iowa will not be missed (harsh but true) – funny how that is… I have no connection to this place anymore except my Mom, Dad and Payton (my dog). Yes there are friends that I still keep in touch with in Iowa (esp. Kendra and Stef) but as I stated before Iowa is a distant memory (they are not a distant memory and they know that). There are some remnants of Iowa inbred in me, things that formed who I am – morals, values, ideologies – but do I have much in common with Iowa anymore – NO. I am no longer an Iowan (my driver’s license may clearly show that I am but I am not), I think the first time I realized this was when I was in a cab last week going to Grand Central to meet a friend. The cab driver was young and flirting with me (I guess a good story for another day..). He asked if I was vacationing for the Holidays, I said yes I am flying home to Iowa to surprise my parents for Christmas. He said “Home? to Iowa? Y0u are not a New Yorker? I looked at you and assumed that you were born and raised here in NYC.” I laughed – you know how much I always wanted someone to say that to me…but he made me realize that outwardly and somewhat inwardly I am completely devoid of Iowa. No longer do I exude nice little girl from the Midwest. I love that he thought I was a New Yorker through and through but I ask myself do I want to be completely devoid of Iowa? I guess at first glance I am, but I do know deep down I am not totally…the guy I was most recently dating told me that there were many things he liked about me and a few were my kindness and warm heart. But I guess you don’t see that at first blush with me and I am not saying that New Yorkers are not kind and warm hearted but that is not something you see at first blush (at least w/ most of the true New Yorkers I know extremely well.)
One thing I realized, while I was at my parents house, is that I hate having nothing to do (unless I am at a beach or pool with a frosty beverage in hand) and I hate just sitting around. Yes, I can sit at my desk for 10-14 hours a day but the power of the DOLLAR is my pure motivation there. I have to be on the go, on the move, doing something, as I always am when I am home in NYC.
So anyways focusing on me….has brought me to New Years Resolutions, one’s i really can achieve…
1) get back to my regular Pilate’s workouts (back in shape)
2) get all my clothes put away in my room
3) hire a financial planner and get my finances straightened out
4) actually start my new job search
5) work on being a better daughter, sister, friend (and better at dating)
6) take the struggles I have faced this past year and find the lessons and actually learn from them.
7) be pickier with men in my life…
I just want to work on me and make me an all around better Karin – in every aspect of my life. (maybe that means choosing better men that I spend my time with….but some just fool you into thinking they are something they are not…*sigh*)
Anyways – NEW YEAR, NEW YORK, NEW & IMPROVED ME!!!!
Disclaimer: I can not promise that my potty mouth will get better or that I will drink less or that I will stop drinking coffee…. NO PROMISES on those at all! ;0)