Since last Wednesday night, when I supposedly “pranced” across the bar. I have been happier than I have been in a really really long time. I feel like this person came into my life for a reason – maybe just to make me feel alive again, to awaken me from that trance I have been in since November or just because he is supposed to be in my life.
One thing I know is that YES I am scared shitless – freaked out beyond belief, but you know what this time – this time – I am going to take it one day at a time and COMPLETELY and TOTALLY ENJOY the HAPPINESS. Just take it for what it is and feel blessed that I had this time of happiness and that this person could make me feel this way – whether it ends tomorrow, next week, next month, next year or maybe never – I just want to enjoy it.
Not saying I am in love – not at all, not really saying much except for I am Happy. Really Happy.
For the first time in a long time I am going to let myself feel truly feel. (and if I have scrape myself of the ground in the end so be it…)
Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.
Carrie: When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?