Letter to A “Nice” Thief

Dear Mr. or Ms. “Nice” Thief,

I just wanted to tell you Thank you because Tonite I got home from work and grabbed our mail. I sleepily walked into our apt and threw the mail down on the couch. I knew there was a small package for me in the pile but it looked like my dad’s handwriting so I thought just a moment to decompress and then will check it out. But when I threw the package down I heard a rattling of what sounded like keys and I thought….nooooo…..

I looked at Jen and said Jen wait I thought I heard keys in there. So I tore open the priority mail envelope that had priority mail tape on it and inside was a plastic bag and behind the plastic bag was my passport and temp NY license, in the plastic bag were 2 sets of my apt keys, all my credit cards, debits cards, business cards, gift cards, insurance cards….everything that had been in my wallet and change purse (but the cash). On the inside of the envelope was hand written – Found in Mailbox.

Jen and I were astonished. She was almost in tears of Joy. I was in shock. First thing that jumped to my mind was crap i just mailed my stolen passport form – wonder if i can call and have them not process it. Then our wheels started clicking thinking you must have just pulled that stuff out, put it in a plastic bag, and dumped it in a corner mailbox and someone from the postal service found my temp license and address and got it to me. I immediately called J and let him know and he was elated, beyond happy.

But me – I had (and still am having) the complete opposite reaction they had. It made me angry, pissed, frustrated, and violated all over again. My anger is worse right now than it has been all week. You, you asshole just wanted my Fendi bag – my ratty, used and abused, 4 year old, lining torn Fendi bag – hope you got a lot of $$ out of it. (and of course you got lucky w/ the other contents cameras and ipod and who knows what else). You couldn’t even return my glasses and heck why couldn’t you have popped my memory card out and sent that too so I can have my pics, while you were being so EFFEN NICE. Thank you Mr./Ms. Thief for dumping vital information to my identity and my accounts in a effning plastic baggie into what I assume was a mailbox. Thanks for that – how effen nice of you!! Because you know what??? All my cards are canceled!!! And who freakin knows if its too late to stop the cancellation on my passport!!! Thanks for being so kind. Hey you know since you are being so nice, if you havent gotten rid of them already – I really would like my pics off my camera, could you email them to me. Thanks that would be great. Those pics of me w/ my grandma would be nice to have, you asshole!

My anger and feelings of violation are not subsiding. Receiving this stuff in the mail today did not make me feel happy, any better, any more secure. Thank you for causing me to have a shitty week. I hope someday you get yours.

Yours effen truly,

Pissed off Victim


About Karin "CoCo"

i am just a midwestern girl living in the big city where i belong, happy and... View all posts by Karin "CoCo"

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