before I get to the heart of what this blog really is about. My office building is being demolished, we are the last tenants in the building, we move out in a week – but they are demolishing everything around us. As I sit here and type, they floor is shaking, the walls are shaking, the glass panes shaking, the thumping is so loud I can’t concentrate….IF I don’t finish this blog its because I fell thru the floor and died. Wow, you should have just heard that I think I wall just came down.
I am an extremely independent person. (oop another wall just came down) hmmm not sure i can write this blog i think the ceiling is going to collapse over Bill – next to me.
Ok lets try this again.
So me – independent, love my space, love to be alone. Sometimes I just need it. Sometimes I just want to be alone and shut the whole world out. I like to just lay on my bed alone somedays and just watch tv all day – no interruptions, just me, myself and i. I go through modes where i like to be alone and not share too much of my time w/ other people. I like to be left alone. Anyone that knows me extremely well knows this – they just let me be. No questions asked, no pressure, no pushing.
I am in this mode right now… just a lot on my mind – career, life, love, family, friends, money, future. So, I like to spend a lot of time alone. However, this mode has been punctured by someone very important in my life and for some reason I don’t mind sharing my time w/ him – i think because he gets it, because he gets the same way that i do. So when I am w/ him i feel that calm, peace and clarity that i get from my alone mode. He grounds me.
No one in my life should ever take it personally when I get in these modes…its just who i am. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk, sometimes I just don’t want to do anything, sometimes i just don’t want to go out, sometimes i don’t want to be bothered, sometimes i need to be alone. When I am in this mode, I don’t like to be pushed into things, I don’t like to be asked things over and over, I don’t like it when people invade my much needed space.
I know some friends and people take offense to this mode I slip into but its just me – its part of who i am and has nothing to do w/ anyone else.
I just like my space and to be left alone.