no, no I didn’t. But today, today many of my closest, nearest and dearest friends and coworkers did. Tonite around 20 people were laid off. Some of which were my best friends. Friends that I never could have survived work w/out. Friends that will not be there day in and day out sitting at their desk. Yes they will still be my friends. But DAMN they are no longer my coworkers, I no longer rub elbows with them mon-fri and sometimes on the weekends, our 10-12 our days that we work. They were all just told tonite thanks for your work but your out.
Now, yes of course I am thankful that I was one of the few that was spared. That yes I still have a job and an income. But I also feel like part of my family was severed, just quickly and smoothly removed from my day to day life in an instant and out of nowhere.
Watching my boss linger and obviously feeling horrible and miserable that the time had come to do this, I felt so bad for him. I felt HORRIBLE being 1 of 4 people that were remaining in the office tonite at 7:30pm that did not get can. I think the 4 of us just sat there in shock, horror, happiness, yet so sad – so many mixed emotions. Thank god it wasnt me, but omg not her or him! Its insane. Its the world we work in but yet our job was an anomaly, we all saw it coming eventually but we had no clue it would be so quickly and so quickly after a new move to a new office. damn. just damn.
i know i havent written in awhile and i know i have many many stories to tell and make up for the lost month or so that i havent written. but shit as i am sitting here just getting home at 3:30am from drinks w/ those who are not my coworkers anymore, i just had to let it out. I felt a bit awkward at first being one of two at the bar who still had a job amongst a bunch who just got a huge rug pulled out from underneath them. then i remembered, they are first and foremost my friends. i am here to support them and because they are my friend in return they dont begrudge me for not being part of the lay off – they love me for being their friend. but shit it is hard. you know what tho, even tho i know its hard for them to see right now, they are probably better off – they got out from this job that sucks you in. they are free. free to move on with their careers and pursue what they really want to do and not be complacent anymore. as the nite went on i was happy to hear many of them say these things. it was almost like a huge burden was off their shoulders. of course i know they are all worried about money, bills, etc. but i know these people and know them well and they will be ok, more than ok.
now, as a fellow friend that did not get laid off said her universe was just flipped upside down, the people that she has sat next to for years — gone. some of her best friends and heart and soul — not there mon-fri in the office anymore.
its weird because a lot of people come and go, and usually by choice. i have had many GOOD friends leave this job – but by their choice. so its easy to see them go, weird, awkward, sad, but easy and its usually just one. NOT 20 or so at ONCE GONE and with no warning. just BAM, LATER. You dont work here anymore.
I felt bad for awhile that I didnt get fired too, people that had been there longer than me were fired. but damn…. damn…
I just keep my friends in my prayers and I know they will all be still here in my life AND i know they will all prosper and do well. They are all meant for great things.
Love you guys and I will miss you so much.