“I SWEAR! Its NOT ME! Its the DAMN %*^&$^&% DOOR!!!!!!!!!” – you hear me cursing with frustration to my ever so patient roommate Charlie.
We have now been in our new apartment for 3 weeks and NO MATTER what set of keys I use – I cannot get that damn front door open in the mornings after I walk Addy (I can always get it open at night when returning home from work).
Charlie keeps politely telling me he will switch keys with me because his ALWAYSSSSSS work. (please note my sarcasm dripping off the always)
Really? Really. Its NOT ME! Its the fucking DOOR!
Admittedly, I have NO patience when it comes to those kind of things. The little vestibule between the very front door and the second locked door to our building gets VERY HOT and I start sweating like a fat trucker with no AC in the middle of the desert. I mean come on, I have Already showered and gotten ready!! Now I look like a sweaty two bit tranny hooker instead of a professional attorney.
One morning poor little Addy started whining at me – I don’t know if she was whining because 1) it was so DAMN HOT 2) she was upset because I was screaming and kicking the door or 3) she just really wanted to get inside into her safe little apartment.
This door keeps making me late to work… I am out there on any given morning trying to get it unlocked from 5-30 minutes. The 30 minute day I just started hitting peoples buzzers until someone buzzed me in – I had no feeling of guilt that it was 8:30am.
I WILL WIN. I WILL BEAT THIS DAMN DOOR!! (you may find a bunch of glass shattered in front of our apartment on 54th street) BUT I WILL WIN!!!
(the way I having been winning lately is just propping it open while I walk Addy… but sometimes people close it while we are out on our wild adventure for her to sniff, pee, and poop and then I curse those people too – probably the people staying in the illegal Hostel run out of the first floor of our building – assholes)