… even though she thinks Les is my BOSS.
One of her FAVORITE movies is Madagasco – yes thats how she says it.
And in the movie the Zoo animals break out of the zoo in NYC and take the train to Connecticut.
One day, Jocie says to my mom “Nanna, do you think that Melman, Gloria, Alex and Marty will come on the train from NYC to Connecticut with Auntie Karin and Addy the next time they come to visit??”
(HONESTLY – I think my family makes this shit up to see HOW FAR I will go for cute little Jocie… but then again I KNOW that Jocie is a smart little booger and 85.7% of me believes she really said this)
So I am going to
begrudgingly go to TIME freaking SQUARE and elbow through all the stupid or AMAZEfuckingBAlls tourists to Toys R Us and find Melman, Gloria, Alex and Marty to take with me and Addy on the train on Friday.
I hope this makes her happy.. I hope this is worth it! She has NO clue the pain and suffering Auntie Karin goes through for her (i.e. the American Girl Store at Christmas time with millions of screaming kids running around giving me panic attacks!)
She should know that I have been on the sober wagon for like 11 days now and this trip to Time Square with alien infested crazy pushing stopping in the middle of the sidewalk for no damn reason tourists MAY just drive me to drink.
So I make my way to Toys R Us in Times Square – weaving through all the slower walkers, random stoppers, etc etc etc. I am actually not to the point of killing a tourist or 10 yet. yet.
I get into Toys R Us and ask a worker “Madagascar stuff?” he looks at me and LAUGHS and says “NONE.” I said “huh? none?” He basically chortled in my face and said “There needs to be another movie to come out for it to be popular enough for there to be stuff in the store.” I looked at him with an EVIL glare and said “I treked through HORRIBLE tourists to come here for my niece and I usualy avoid Times Square at ALL COSTS. BUT Madagascar is POPULAR ENOUGH with my 2.5 year old NIECE!!! NOW what am I supposed to tell her?!?!?!!” He looks at me with a blank stare “I don’t know Miss. And have a good day.”
NOW – I want to KILL SOME TOURISTS!!! All pushing and shoving and standing in the way as I wander around and try to find SOMETHING… well this is the something I come up with… AND I KNOW IT WILL NOT PASS as Melman and ANY of the Penguineeees:
So I leave Toys R Us with a Jeffrey that vibrates to pass as Melman and a NY penguin that vibrates to pass as one of the Penguins…. I am STILL angry at the Toys R Us worker. You are NOT CUTE or FUNNY chubby 20 something Actor/broadway show wanna be working in a blue shirt at Toys R Us in Times Square.
So I walk my way through Times Square to get to the gym and trust me I don’t hold back on those stupid tourists. I shove and I yell and I bite their heads off and hit some of them with my bag. YES. YES. I was angry New Yorker.
Then I get home and Charlie (who avidly watches the Penguins of Madagascar Cartoon) tells me there is NOOOO Way that the Penguin will pass as one of them. And I send the picture to my mom and she was like umm yea nice try but that won’t fool Jocie.
I was like great. JUST Great. So I have decided that I will just be like JOCIE!! LOOK WHO CAME WITH ME ON THE TRAIN!! And if she thinks its them.. then she thinks its them… GREAT! If not she gets a vibrating random giraffe and a vibrating random NY penguin. End o’Story.
Maybe for her birthday – I will order online some Madagascar people – (people??? they are not people.. ummm animals??) – and take them up there with me for her birthday.
P.S. I did not drink.. under normal circumstances this would have drove me straight to that bottle of wine in my fridge. Instead I killed 5 miles on the eliptical at the gym. yay me for anger management! ha.