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Bacon is love and God and all things between…

Today is a Bacon kind of day… (although what day SHOULD NOT be a bacon kind of day…)

So Chel and I were gchatting (while we were also diligently working because we can multi-task, we are women – we multi-task fabulously!!):

Chel:  i am about to go f*cking trial chel on some unsuspecting desk clerk at the hoiday inn
 me:  ruh roh
 Chel:  i swear to bacon that i will own my own holiday inn/intercontinental
me:  There is a Bacon God – ya know?
 Chel:  there totally is
me:  his loin cloth is made of bacon
me: he has a tender loin… cloth
me:  and the god of bacon is married to the goddess of love because Bacon is Love

Now one thing I have not discussed here is my LOVE for everything Bacon… I even have a great friend who got me Bacon Cologne for my Birthday. And while we were away on a 2 month trial… my slogan to the whole team was “Bacon is Love” –  if you share your bacon with someone it means you love them.. deeply. So all through trial.. anytime someone had Bacon they would secretly slide a piece of bacon on to my plate and I would find it and giggle with Glee. (yes we were delirious…living out of a hotel for 2 months and working 120hr+ weeks BUT STILL!)

So my friend (PS his name is Mark and he is an attorney also) that got me the bacon cologne sent me an email earlier today.. that his mom bought him this…
And he wrote this with the picture:
“Karin – when my Mom was in town, we went to this Polish Catholic Cathedral outside of Philadelphia. My mom got me this statute of Saint Mark – the patron saint of attorneys, captives and notaries.

Feel free to pray to me…”

Upon further research… (aka an email from Chel’s boyfriend) we found out:

In 828, relics believed to be the body of St. Mark were stolen from Alexandria by two Venetian merchants and taken to Venice, where the Byzantine Theodore of Amasea had previously been the patron saint. A basilica was built there to house the relics.

A mosaic in St Mark’s Basilica, Venice depicts sailors covering the relics with a layer of pork. Since Muslims are not allowed to touch pork, this action was done to prevent Muslim intervention in the relics removal.

Chel’s boyfriend remarks on the pork wrapping of St. Mark’s relics: Sweet (and tasty) move…by those Venetians.”

So shortly after I tell Chel that there is a Bacon God.. we find out that St. Mark – patron saint of MY PROFESSION  (attorney) is also WRAPPED IN PORK.

Its just too much for me to handle… I think I need some chocolate covered bacon to deal with the rest of the afternoon…


Chicken or (Cock) Down!!!!!!!!

After being in a major major major slump… one of my besties sent me this blog

I sat at my desk and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. I left work and laughed on the eliptical and even laughed when I crawled in bed.  I posted it on facebook and in a mad frenzy my friends and family were all over it.  You could say it went “viral” amongst them.  My friend Will even made his FB status last night was “I am Team Victor”

so Dear Jenny, the Bloggess, you have re-stirred my inner blogger/writer after many years of not really being able to find the inspiration to recount the stories and fables of my quirky awkward life and friends that fill it.

To kick of my re-birth of blogging… i will give you a few back and forths on facebook between me and some of my bestfriends about the Large metal Chicken Named Beyonce:

Kiki: The chicken has a shiv.
Karin: see now when I tried to post that.. facebook kept deleting it! it wouldn’t let ME use the word SHIV!
Kiki: Racist
Karin: yes the BLACK girl can say SHIV. but the WONDERBREAD girl cant. HMPH.
Kiki: See, I actually think it’s Shawnee hate. We never leave the Native Americans alone…
Karin: Oh what i know how to make a SHIV because I am Shawnee???
Kiki: And the sheath to go with it…
Karin: I should/could be on Game of Thrones
Kiki: And you could be the Dwarf’s Lover
Karin: Gross. Sick. Twisted. But he does get laid a lot.

 Chel:  i don’t know if i can read “beyonce” anymore and  not laugh
 Karin:  becuase in my mind Beyonce is a big huge metal chicken
 Chel:  yep

Patrick: That’s not a chicken. It’s a… wait for it… wait for it… wait for it…
Patrick: A Rooster
Karin: A COCK!
Patrick: Beyonce the Cock.
Karin: Cock DOWN! (never heard in a gay bar)

So Jenny, the Bloggess, thank you. THANK YOU. I only strive to be as funny as you…

ramblings in love

once upon a time this man sat to my left at a dinner… I barely realized he was there….

Weeks and months upon months later he somehow became my best friend, my lover, my confident, my center, my gravity, my soul, my heart – the man I want to spend every living day with for the rest of my life. I want to lay next to him every night and fall asleep and wake up every morning to his adoring loving gaze and his gentle touch. I want to be the mother of his children. I want to be the one that makes him laugh and smile with every morning light and every setting sun.
I want to eat brownies and ice cream in bed with you until we have nothing but white hair on our heads.
He is the love of my life. He is everything I want and need.

I slip back into reality and he is not mine. The fairy tale that once upon a time was… Is not.

My heart be still. My heart will never stop aching. And It will forever continue to break.

My love. My love. My love. My love.

Sit and Wait Kind of Girl..

Wake up in the morning the heart sinks when there’s no message from you.

The heart sinks again in the evening when the phone never lights up with your name and picture for a chance to hear your voice.

You only call when I ask, never on your own volition.
Trust me..I understand the situation.


Never been a sit around and wait kinda girl…
Finding that all I do is sit around and wait for you…

And your love.

lost. love. found.

A good friend lost her lover, best friend, soulmate, and father of her children to the heavens above this week. My heart breaks for her. She posted a post that she was ironing his clothes for one last time… My soul hurt for her.

I don’t know how I can lose something that hasn’t really ever been “mine” but I don’t ever want to lose you.

I’ve never ironed your clothes but I don’t ever want to know that feeling of having to iron your clothes for the last time.

I remember picking out your tie for you one night before an important day… I wish I could do that for you every night.

I lay in bed and you make me laugh hysterically but you’re not right next to me to hear my uncontrollable laughter and smile that won’t leave my face.

All I know is that you are all I want. You are all I need. And I don’t want to live without you. Not anymore. Life is too short. We are soulmates. We belong together. Find your way to me… Please.

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If not my life…

You say: “You’ll never lose me. You have my heart, if not my life.”

I say:
tears won’t stop…
Laying here curled up in the dark…
Soft music a few candles flicker…
Just gently crying…
One man..
Has my one heart…
Forever, forever it belongs to only him…

“Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together – Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours”



We walked out of a little bar into it…

[I danced, felt magical, sighed with happiness, laughed, smiled and twirled around in circles whipping my hair around…

He shivered, moaned, complained, groaned, grabbed my arm, stopped me, hailed us a cab in bitter cold silence.]

Worlds apart…