A girlfriend I grew up with Iowa recently became an Esthetician. She is an amazing woman that I have known since we were like 12. The past 11 years or so she has been a fabulous stay at home mom to her 3 beautiful children.
We have one of those relationships… just where you can tell each other everything. There are ABSOLUTELY NO BOUNDARIES.
Our latest hot topic has been waxing. I was bitching to her a few weeks ago that “my lady”, whom I have been going to for well over 5 years, was out sick and I was going to have to cheat on her to get my Birthday Brazilian. I mean seriosuly – how many other woman do you really wanting rooting around in your nether regions ripping out hair??? I have only cheated on Jasmine twice before this – once when I was in Miami for 2 months for work and the other time when Jasmine was out of the country for like 2 months.
My friend was telling me that she would do it for me (except for the fact that she lives approximately 1,152 miles away from me) and my response was “I love you.. but under no circumstances do I want you playing around in my hooha. I will stick with Jasmine and cheat on her with Shobha’s recommended replacement.”
My friend has recently decided to do something with her esthetician degree. So she is working a couple days a week.
Monday I receive a text from her:
KMR: “So I need a Brazilian model for work next week wanna fly home and have your vag waxed :-)”
Me: “Def not enuf hair down their right now for that! But.. picture it.. Hi my name is Karin. I will be your vag model for the day.”
KMR: “Hi my name is KMR and I’ll be waxing your Kitty today”
KMR: “It would only cost me no less than $400 to get there to be your ‘vag model'”
KMR: “But its a $110 treatment for free plus some microderm, so its a bargain!”
Me: “Not bargain enough to fly to Iowa and have you playing around in my Hooha!! Love you!”
So I wake this am to a Facebook post from her…
KMR: Remember my text last week….next time I’ll pay the $400 for your flight home! I’ll spare you the details. 🙂
Me: I am glad you have that much faith in my HooHa
KMR: so I waxed one of my co workers and her roomie Wed. Ya lets just say the roomie may have had the hairest scariest bush I’ve EVER seen. And I’ve seen alot of bush in this business….sick. But nasty nasty bush. I had to use electric trimmers to cut it down to wax. Thank God it was clean and not smelly:) She is 22 and has never shaved or anything. It was a fur bikini.
Me: Omg. I cant imagine. How does she wear bathing suits??
KMR: I said the same thing she was like ” I do I was at the pool last week”. WTF
Me: It had to be a life exchanging experience for her!
KMR: She was like ” I bet my boyfriend likes it”
Me: I am still on the bathing suit.. how the hell in a bathing suit….
KMR: I know!!! Unless she wears boyshorts….
Listen Ladies.. keep it clean.. you don’t need to wax. you don’t need to get brazilians. you CAN HAVE BUSH. Its ok.. Just keep it clean. NICE CLEAN LINES – especially in your bathing suits. Your girlfriends will snicker and the men will be disgusted.
But I am glad I have such a great friend that has great faith in my nether regions…. I feel proud. Proud to have a Pretty Kitty.